The Unsuitable Suitor

The Unsuitable Suitor

A man of standing

In the mid 1800s, he was the Postmaster General of Hong Kong and by some accounts, he was bright, accomplished and difficult. His name was Francis William Mitchell and he was my great great grandfather.

Francis was a lawyer by training. He began his articles in London as a young man, then made a fateful decision to immigrate to Hong Kong with his new wife Mary.
There, he found a position with the post office and in time, worked his way up to be Postmaster General. He was exceptionally good at what he did — organizing and managing. So good, in fact, he was lent out to China and the Philippines to reorganize their postal services. King Amadeus of Spain was so grateful he knighted the man.

Yet although he was outstanding at his work, his personal relationships were less than sterling. He seems to have been a ‘my way or the highway’ sort, used to thundering out orders at the office and confused, probably, that friends and family held views that differed from his. Nevertheless, he made a huge contribution in his world of work.

Why don’t we drop into Francis’ life as flies on the wall and see how he’s doing, in particular, let’s witness three life-changing events which happened in 1874, 1881 and 1887. First stop is the Mitchell home. They live among the wealthy, power elite in the Peak District of Hong Kong, well above the coastal flat where disease is prevalent and the humidity  and riff-raff intolerable. Francis and Mary have two grown children, Mary and Francis Williams Jr. The year is 1874.

Befitting Francis’s position, the Mitchells live in The Peak district of Hong Kong, among the wealthy and elite, You’re about to drop in on the family three times to witness life-changing events that occurred

The Engagement

It is 9:05 in the morning, August 12, 1874. No need to knock. We are in the drawing room, unseen observers. It is Sunday and Francis is sleeping in. Downstairs young Mary (25) paces the kitchen floor. Her mother Mary is seated at the table, sipping tea and staring absently at nothing in particular. Quiet now….

“When is he going to come down Mother? I can’t stand much more of this.”
“He won’t be much longer, dear. Be patient.”
Young Mary is frantic. “I’m about to have a conversation with that obstreperous old bear of a father which he is not going to like about the future course of my life and I’m supposed to be patient?”
“Mary, your father is not the easiest man to deal with, I confess, but he does deserve our respect…and our love. Don’t forget that.”
“Oh I’m sorry Mother. I just need to get this over with and get on with my life with Daniel — away from this house! Oh dear, he’s coming down now.”

“Good morning father.”
“Good morning Mary. Good morning dear. Well now. You two look like you swallowed the canary. Dare I ask?”
“Father, I’ve got some exciting news to tell you.”
“Really, what is it Sweetheart?”
“Daniel and I are going to be married. We are betrothed.”

“You cannot be serious”

“What? My God girl, you cannot be serious. You hardly know the man. And he certainly has not approached me for your hand.”

“Father, we’ve been seeing each other for eight months, and he had every intention to speak to you, but I told him that I preferred to tell you the news myself. And I am serious father. Very serious. He’s a wonderful man and I love him dearly.”

“He’s a Caldwell, damn it. His father’s a scoundrel; his uncle’s a scoundrel. No Mary. I cannot allow it. It is absolutely out of the question. I will not have my daughter married to a Caldwell. It would discredit our family, tarnish my reputation irreparably and God knows where you would end up. Absolutely not.”
“I’m afraid I am marrying Daniel, father. I hope you will give us your blessing and wish us well. But if you choose not to, that is your loss.” Mary, in tears, runs from the kitchen.

Young Mary’s mother takes up the cause, “Francis, for goodness sake, Mary is a grown woman. She must make her own decisions and yes, live with them.” It’s not up to us to decide whom she should marry and whom not.”

“Mary, I cannot stop our Mary from marrying that man, but I swear to God, he will not step foot in this house. And we will not be attending the marriage.”

“You will not, perhaps, but I will. I will not abandon our daughter because you have a bone to pick with the Caldwells.”

And that was that. Mary Mitchell and Daniel Edmond Caldwell (my great grandparents) married the following year. Francis was ‘unavoidably’ absent in China on business. 

Young Mary’s brother, Francis Junior, served as witness. And perhaps coincidentally, perhaps not, Francis Senior retired from the Post Office that same year, 1875, and he and Mary left Hong Kong to begin another life in Hobart, Van Diemen’s Land, today’s Tasmania.

Was Francis so shamed by his unwanted connection to the Caldwells that he could not bear to remain in Hong Kong? Did he fear becoming ostracized by his friends and colleagues? Did Mary and her father speak to each other again? We don’t know.